A Warning and a Gift for Anyone Who Isn’t Pursuing Their Dreams

“Letting go of the past means that you can enjoy the dream that is happening right now.” 

~Don Miguel Ruiz

I grew up on a small cattle farm in the very small farming town of Savannah, Missouri with my grandfather and great grandparents.

My great grandmother used to sit outside on the back porch and string green beans or peel apples when the weather was mild, a worn dish towel over her knee and an ancient paring knife moving with practiced ease. As a very small child I would often sit with her, watching, and sometimes we would talk.

 I asked if she had ever had something that she always wanted to do; a dream? She smiled and set down her work, leaned back and looked off across the farm for a moment, lost in thought.

She said that she had always wanted to see the ocean, to visit Hawaii, and see the Eiffel Tower. She had only seen these things in pictures and on TV, and they were beautiful to her. But she was scolded by relatives and friends for having such ideas and encouraged to put away these things that would never happen.


So she did.

 Instead she got married, raised two children, tended the farm alongside her husband, and prepared every meal without complaint. She packed my lunches, took me to school every single day, sewed my dresses and Halloween costumes from scratch, and made me cinnamon pies.

 She paid all the bills on time, did the grocery shopping, helped her community in any way she could, and was a very good wife, mother, grandmother, and great grandmother.

 At her funeral the church overflowed; every seat was taken by lives she had touched, more stood in the vestibule and were forced out onto the sidewalk. She gave so much in her life while asking for nothing in return. She was an amazing woman, but I knew she never forgot her dream.

 After many years of inspection, I found the duality that her story contained: a warning and a gift.

The Warning: Make the choice to not let others dictate your dreams or goals.

Your dreams are yours, no matter how simple or small or large or complicated they may be, and you have a right to chase them at any point in your life, for any reason.


 Do not give in to fear or uncertainty, do not doubt yourself, do not ask “Why? Why is this so important to me?” Your dreams are yours and yours alone, no one can take them from you and you should never give up on them.

The Gift: Make the choice to find happiness in your current path.

Sometimes, for some reason, we choose to walk away from what our heart wants. Maybe we make the choice out of necessity, maybe we do not really have a choice in the matter, maybe we did not realize what we wanted till it was too late, maybe we did not want to seem “weird” to our friends.


But life will always find a way to give you happiness, so be brave and keep yourself open to receive the joy that life is trying to give you.

 Your dreams and your life are your own; never forget that.


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DIET

The Defining Qualities Of The White Hot & Indispensable

Post written by Peter G. James Sinclair.

Do you roll out of bed each day or do you leap?

Someone who has a purpose, has a plan, has a dream and has a destiny will jump into each day with an enthusiasm that is contagious like a raging bushfire.

Why not share that same fire with a friend or a member of your own family? Help them in the pursuit of their own hot button.

Unveil Your Hot Button

But what is your hot button? What inspires you? What keeps you up at night? What are you dreaming about while you’re wide awake?

Have you discovered it yet?

Without finding your hot button, you could possibly die of frostbite – or send everyone around you to sleep. You and I were born to push our hot button. You were born to add value to our family, our friends and our world.

You weren’t born to be put on ice. You were born to be red hot, to be ablaze with a burning passion and a fiery desire to make a significant difference every single day that you live here on planet earth.
So what are my words to you today?

Make it your mission in life to discover your mission.

The Privilege Of Adding Value

You don’t need permission, for you have been given a commission to add value to every task that you undertake, every life that you touch, and every project you complete.

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7 Simple (and Surprising) Tips to Help You Realize Your Dreams -By Lisa Esile

“Don’t be pushed by your problems; be led by your dreams.” ~Unknown

It’s tricky sometimes, isn’t it?

Trying to find our place on this planet.

Tapping into our inner desires.

1. Don’t think about “your path in life.”

A path is a track laid down to walk on. A path implies there’s only one way, a preconceived singular course. It implies that you can make a wrong decision.
Watch it! Don’t step off the path!

2. Forget everything your guidance counselor said.

Whatever we hanker for, this gives us the greatest joy. And it’s often not some grand thing—that’s our mind (ego) imposing society’s rules.

3. Ask this simple question.

When I was young, if you’d asked me what job I’d like, assuming I had all the skills necessary, I’d have thought it was a trick question. I thought everyone wanted this.

I wanted to be a writer and painter

Pay attention to your desires, even when—no, especially when—they seem ludicrous. Roll the idea around in the back of your mind. 
What life would you choose if you could wave a wand and have every skill that you needed?
No pressure. Just notice.

4. Stop worrying about how to get there—or if “there” is even a good idea.

 Human beings are wired for safety. This is why want our trajectory mapped out.

To get to where we really want to go, there is no pre-drawn map. The good news is that we don’t need one! All we need is the next step. And we always know this.

 Big changes come from a series of incremental decisions. Trust that there is a wise hand guiding you (because there is). Take notice of seemingly small inclinations.

 

5. Learn the difference between an inner desire and unhelpful mind talk.

 If you’re not sure, dip your toe in. See how it feels.

What if (after everything) we can’t feel the tug of our inner desires? Or, we’re uncertain about the next step?

Answer: Don’t worry

 Don’t worry, because the only way to get where we’re going is through uncertainty (and sometimes turmoil). Feeling discombobulated is part of it.

 Allow yourself to be in a state of confusion. It’s not always comfortable, but it’s perfectly normal.

 

7. Expect to feel afraid.

Making a lunge for what’s important to us is scary.

Always is.


http://tinybuddha.com/author/lisa-esile/

you know what? The voice of derision you most need to watch out for is your own.

 

 

 

 

FITNESS I

“The human body is the best work of art.” ― Jess C. Scott

THINK BEFORE YOU EAT

a real Boy

There is an animal that is a mix of a shark and a ray.

What do you call the hybrid of a shark and ray fish? A Ray shark.

The ray shark also goes by other names including the bowmouth guitarfish or the mud skate, the sole member of the family Rhinidae. This hybrid is a strong swimmer that makes use of its tail fin to propel itself in water in shark-like style. But the irony here is that its chief predator is the tiger shark. Regardless of all the shark-like qualities, the ray fish is officially deemed a species of ray related to skates and guitar fishes.
You can find it in the deep tropical coastal waters of the Indo-Pacific region. It might lurk at depths of up to 90 m, but this has not made it invincible to artisanal and commercial fisheries. The fin is especially sought after, and this has led to this hybrid fish being placed on the list of endangered aquatic specie

The Nobel Prize was created by a man known as “The Merchant of Death.”

Alfred Nobel should have probably been awarded the Nobel Prize for formulating what is regarded by many to be the most prestigious honor in the world: the Nobel Prize.

The prize is way more than an award for being outstanding: it also honors those who have been brilliant for the common good. And prior to dedicating his funds towards searching for and rewarding the best and brightest on the globe, Alfred Nobel was an inventor. And guess what his most prominent invention was? Dynamite.
In 1888, there appeared an obituary of him with a headline that read; ‘The Merchant of Death is Dead’. However, a mistake had been done: Nobel had not yet kicked the bucket. But for some reason the faux-demise announcement bemused him, so much so that word has it that he decided to establish what we all know today as the Nobel Prize in order to protect his future reputation from obituary writers.

Ancient Chinese nobility committed suicide by eating a pound of salt.

You’ve all heard that too much salt – just like everything else that is not done in moderation – is harmful for your health. And you don’t need to be told that too much of it can be fatal. In actual sense, a person only need take a single gram of salt per kilogram of weight to lay themselves on their deathbed.

And in ancient China, this was a method employed by nobility to commit ritual suicide: a pound of salt would be enough to send them to meet their maker – for only they could afford such copious amounts of salt given its high price tag.
You need to find a balance since apparently, too little salt is also deadly for you. Your body needs salt and if you drink lots of water, what you are doing is flushing the salt from your system, thereby leading to fatal Hyponatremia. A woman going by the name Jennifer Strange did something, well, strange: she died for this same reason after she decided to enter into a rather strangely-named competition called ‘Hold your wee for a wii’.

There is a Nepali boy who plans on meditating forever.

He’s been called the reincarnation of Buddha by some, but Buddhism practitioners have denied these claims leveled against Ram Bahadur Bomjom, as he too hath done. However, he himself and practitioners of the faith consider him to have entered nirvana – another level of meditation that frees one from suffering, at least when they are in meditation.

The boy from Nepal commenced his meditation in a hollow tree back in May 16, 2005. About a year later, on March 16, 2006, he is said to have disappeared from the hollow tree, but some followers found him a week later. He explained that he had abandoned his meditation spot since large crowds couldn’t take his eyes off him and kept disturbing his peace. He later made his way to some other location, and he was found on his best behavior in Nepal on December 26, 2006. Come March 8,2007 and he switched spots again for the same reasons until he was found later on March 26 the same year in a ditch that resembled a bunker.
Ram Bahadur is still wandering with the aim of just finding a quiet spot to sit, meditate and remain in nirvana forever – if there’s a forever. Unfortunately, the masses can’t let him be!

A young French boy faked his own kidnapping in order to avoid his dentist appointment!

The buzzing of dentist equipment strikes fear not only in children but adults alike. And you may be surprised to know the number of people who choose to live with the pain of cavities, tooth decay and what-not just because they fear an appointment with the gold ole dentist.

One kid, Nicolas Menez, from France took the ball game a whole new level though, scheming an elaborate plan to miss his big date with the tooth doctor. The 12-year-old boy from a small village in the French Alps was found by the local police whom he told he had been hiding from a kidnapper before the cops took him in for questioning.
The kid had a rather good story to tell. Said he was lured into the vehicle of a thirty-something year-old guy in the town of Bagnols, not too far away. He even went ahead to give a vivid description of a scarred kidnapper, the clothes he wore as well as the car used in the abduction. He said he was fortunate to escape after the kidnapper made a stop-over at St. Gervais.
Following his revelations, the police would proceed to conduct investigations into the case which took them an entire month to get into the bottom of. With several dead leads and going round in circles, they called in the little boy again and it was then that he admitted the whole tale was made up and he had done it to skip an appointment scheduled with his dentist.

Love

 

 

As long as there is love inside your heart,
happiness is just around the corner.

BOOKS (Wisdom)..

"The more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.” 

 

― Dr. Seuss, I Can Read With My Eyes Shut!

Let Go of Regret by Making a Promise to Yourself...

“Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places.” ~Unknown

 Regret can be such a paralyzing emotion, yet it is also universal. At some point in our lives, in one way or another, we each wrestle with regret.

 I have also come to realize (through ebbs and flows) that the universe has a way of showing you what rock bottom really looks like in order to demonstrate that you are capable of picking yourself up again.


 In the face of regret, the best thing you can do for yourself is not look back, but to make a promise to yourself that you can learn from the experience and do the right thing going forward. 


 My promises to myself include ensuring that I never take anyone for granted again, and act only with love and compassion for myself and for others. The endings we experience in life are the world’s way of showing you that expansion is imminent.

 if you can’t see through the fog of regret today, know that one day you will. Start making that promise to yourself today that you will no longer sit in your regret, but move forward with integrity, dignity, and self-respect.

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3 Tips to Get Out of Your Head and Start Expressing Yourself...

 

“Always be yourself, express yourself, have faith in yourself, do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.” 

~Bruce Lee

I have always been timid when it comes to expressing myself, speaking my mind, and standing up for something. This stems from being raised in a culture where showing emotions is frowned upon.

Nothing I ever did seemed good enough. There was constant criticism that I could do better, and be better. I was raised to never to talk back to my seniors and not to say anything when I had nothing nice to say.

So, I’ve always played it safe and stood by the sideline, and I never wanted to rock the boat. And sometimes, when I’ve felt like saying something, I’ve wondered if people would even care.

my inner voice grew stronger and stronger, and it wanted to come out and express itself.

 Stop bottling up your thoughts and start expressing yourself without care.

I’ve learned to nurture my voice and not spend so much time crafting my message and worrying about what others think.


These are the three philosophies that have helped me get out of my head, let go, and start expressing myself.

1. The only person you need to impress is you.

Yes, it’s scary to put yourself out there to have people judge you. But if you know who you are and what you stand for, does it matter what others think, when you know your truth and what it means to you?

 The truth is, if you are comfortable in your own skin, what others think of you probably won’t bother you that much. After all, you will always have people who will be for you or against you, so why not stand for something and just be you? What’s the worst thing that could happen?

 

2. Stand for something.

This is important. It allows you to let your personality shine. It is also the foundation of your values, which help shapes your identity, allowing people to connect with you, enabling you to surround yourself with like-minded people for support.

 Remember, no man is an island, as John Donne wrote. We, as human beings, need to interact with another and need each other to find fulfillment in our lives. So stand for something to build your world of lovers and ‘haters,’ instead of having no supporters or challengers to help you grow.

 

3. Let go of the outcome.

Sometimes we say things or do things because we want to get a certain reaction or action out of people. However, keeping in mind we have no control over anything in life (except for our actions and our responses), why not speak your truth? 


“Say what you wanna say, and let the words fall out. I wanna see you be brave.” ~Sara Bareilles, Brave 



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You’re One Moment Away from Being Who You Want to Be...

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

 ~Maria Robinson

“I’m good—except for the fact that it is Monday, of course.”



 “Mondays are the start of something new. It is a new week, full of possibilities. I have five days to get things done, which feels better than the end of the week where I am rushing to complete thing before the weekend.”


 What you think, causing what you feel, about something is just a matter of perspective, and sometimes, the script in our head runs on automatic for years, unquestioned, unchallenged. What if you flipped the script? What would it be like to challenge our thinking?

 Life happens in moments, strung together to make up a day, a year, a life.

 How you choose to write the script that runs through your head is completely up to you. 


The catchy slogan “fake it till you make it” helps you rewrite your script in a different way.

 Each new encounter allows me to question my thoughts and feelings, trying on concepts like clothes, seeing if they are a good fit.

 Connecting with yourself, your heart, and gut and soul and spirit is the most important thing you can do to help you with your rewrites.

 Flipping the script isn’t easy. But who else is more important than you?

 Each day, each moment offers us the opportunity to flip the script, to be something completely different, and because new moments come along sixty times a minute, you are only a moment away from becoming exactly who you want to be.


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3 Self-Honoring Ways to Deal with Low-Energy Days..

“Being who you are is another way of accepting yourself.” ~Unknown

So, I went to the gym to increase my endorphins. I figured that a good workout would be the perfect cure-all.

It was in that moment, hanging up the phone from my coach that I realized, I needed to stop trying to fix my low energy day. There was no “one reason” I was feeling this way. It wasn’t anything I did or didn’t do; it just was, and it was time for me to be okay with that. 


The only place I had heard of such acceptance was within my Human Design studies, so I picked up a book.
According to Human Design, most of us have what is considered to be an “emotional authority.” It means that we tend to let our emotions rule our decisions, and we can easily make rash decisions just to end the emotional turmoil we feel. Or, to the opposite extreme, we can say “yes” in an effort to hold onto an exciting expectation.

 I’ve learned that the key is not to focus solely on our high-energy feelings, or to get rid of our low energy. The key as Buddha says, is for us to find “the middle way.” Release attachment to either end of the spectrum and find the still point. That is where emotional clarity lies. 


Thus, on that day a few months back, I asked myself to stop pushing. I stopped pushing the negative emotions away and I stopped pushing myself into a more positive high.
Instead, I honored and acknowledged my wonky feelings in these three ways.

1. Self-pampering. 

 I let my to-do list fly out the window and I gave my body and my mind my full attention. I did a lot of journal writing that day. I like journaling when I can, and it helped me explore areas where I could really stand up for myself in my business and in my relationships.

 

2. The twenty-four-hour rule.

I released myself from making any big decisions. I knew my energy was all over the place and the key was to wait for clarity. Thus, I gave myself a twenty-four-hour rule. No big decisions were to be carried out or expressed until 9:00AM the next day, at the earliest.

3. Judgment-free space.

I deemed my home, my body, and the three-foot bubble around me wherever I went to be my judgment-free space. There was nothing good or bad, right or wrong about my low energy day. It was here for me, as an amazingly imperfect human being, to experience.
This allowed me to embrace it and learn from it. It was no one’s fault. There was nothing wrong with me for feeling this way. It wasn’t going to last forever, and everyone would still love me in the morning.


Which of these three self-honoring actions will you try when you have a low energy, “rage” day?


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Avoid the Pain of Emotional Eating and Transform Your Mood...

 

“To ensure good health: eat lightly, breathe deeply, live moderately, cultivate cheerfulness, and maintain an interest in life.” 

 ~William Londen

In essence, interconnectedness refers to the linkages between all things. Some even take it a step further and say that not only is everything linked, but in actuality, there are no real distinctions between you and me; between thought and behavior; or between past, present, and future.

On the surface, the concept of interconnectedness seems simple—every thing is linked to everything else and every one is linked to everyone else. However, in practice, applying the concept of interconnectedness to the way I live has been anything but simple.

After much contemplation, I came to the conclusion that if I were going to truly live interconnectedness (and not just think or read about it), I would need to fully grasp the fact that my thoughts, actions (or inactions), and outcomes were fundamentally intertwined.
This not only impacted the ways I engaged with others, but also shaped the ways in which I engaged with myself, particularly with respect to what, when, and how I eat.

Set a Mood of Joy By Creating a Nourishment Ritual

Stop.

Now, when I’m sad, angry, or stressed, I stop. I stop, I note what I am feeling, and then I think about what role I have played—either through my actions or through my appraisals of the situation—in whatever has led me to feeling negative. I remember that I am interconnected with whatever it seems like on the surface is causing my negative mood.

 Importantly, just as I help to create my own sadness, anger, or stress, I can also transform my sadness, anger, or stress into my joy.

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Making Your Passion Your Career (Despite the Naysayers)...

“Don’t let life randomly kick you into the adult you don’t want to become.” 

~Chris Hadfield, astronaut

As a kid, you put zero thought into doing what you loved.

I never thought of asking, “Why not?” Why couldn’t writing be a career? I just accepted that a job or career had to be something you made a realistic, intellectual choice about and not one that came from your heart.  

I heard Oprah say that as a child she was asked what she thought she would do as a career.
She said, “Well I like talking to people.”
The person responded, “Well, you can’t make money doing that.”

7 Failed Careers Later

years later, after I was told I couldn’t make a career out of writing, I ended up with a resume that was four pages long, and days that were like a yearlong run-on sentence.

 

A Return to Love 

Then I reached a turning point, which made me realize I needed to go back to doing what I loved and make it work somehow.

Do you recognize your passion? Not hobbies, or things you like doing for fun sometimes—the one thing that rises above all. Think back to what you loved to do as a child, what you gravitated toward for no reason other than fun, and you will find it.

Are you ready to say yes? Turn your passion into a career one step at a time with the following tips.

1. Tell one stranger.

Even before you’re working at making your passion your day job or income source, go ahead and tell someone that you’re a _______. (Fill in the blank). At any chance you get, do it again.

2. Obsess over it.

Move your passion from the back burner of your mind to the front. Think about it every chance you get if you’re not already doing so. Read about people who have successfully transitioned into the work you want to be doing.

3. Do it for love.

Whatever your passion, forget about making it into a career until you spend enough time reveling in the absolute joy of doing it. Paint, write, dance, take photos, carve wood, whatever it may be for love and only love.

4. Hope above all.

Decide that you will never give up hope

5. Shout it out loud.

Put an ad out, or tell people that you are willing to do some work in your field of passion for pay or for free.

6. Wear the tightest belt ever.

Pull. Tight, if you must (if funds are an issue). I hate this part, but I must be honest. See where you could take some funds from one budget and put it toward a course or mentor so you are not doing this alone.

7. Forget “Easy does it.”

Easy doesn’t do it. Period. You’ll face challenges, and resistance from yourself and others. Do it anyway.

7. Forget “Easy does it.”

Easy doesn’t do it. Period. You’ll face challenges, and resistance from yourself and others. Do it anyway.

Stop Looking at the Odds of Failing

The odds against successfully turning your passion into a career and making money from it seem so overwhelming. So stop looking at the odds.

 

Reclaim the act of doing your passionate work as your career, as if happiness depended upon it.
Because it does.

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Why Fulfillment Comes from Being Yourself and How to Be Okay with That...

“To wish you are someone else is to waste the person you are.”  ~Sven Goran Eriksson

The super-successful people are doing exactly the same things as the not so successful people.


I’ve been on a merry-go-round of trying to be someone or something that everyone will like. But I know that not everyone will like everything, so I’ve set myself an impossible task.


 
I also know that self-love and acceptance is the key to everything I want. Not just success, but to be happy with who I am—at last.

 Everyone is trying to belong.

 I want to understand how I can offer something to the world, make a difference, be liked by the people I meet and, ultimately, belong. Just like those super successful people, but not them—just myself.
 We are on fast-forward compared to people who don’t take much notice of developing themselves. So every few months we become a different person, who is the same person, with a lot more knowledge and different way of looking at the world.


 Next time you look at someone successful or beautiful or passionate and you have those inspired feelings of “Maybe I could be like that too?” always remember that, yes, you can do what they do, but you can never be like them.

By not being you, you won’t be on purpose, you won’t be sharing your gift, you won’t be changing those lives. This makes me dig deep and get real with myself, because someone is relying on me to be me!


You don’t have to know who you are to be who you are; just do what makes you feel alive, live how you want to live, and don’t let the constraints of other people’s stories hinder you in any way.
Today, and every day, I’m choosing to be myself. And I’m getting better at it.


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What to Do When People in Your Life Don’t Want to Change

“If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it.”                             

~Mary Engelbreit

All of us know at least one person who we think needs a self-help course or book more than we do. They’re the “wrong” ones, at least in our minds.

 When people in our life don’t want to change, we change ourselves.

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The Real Reason Some People Always Seem to Push Your Buttons

 

“Our sorrows and wounds are healed only when we touch them with compassion.” ~Buddha

 I always felt invisible whenever my husband and I got together with a certain couple.

For the longest time I couldn’t figure out why this self-absorbed behavior bothered me so much.

You see, my biggest negative childhood trauma was feeling invisible and unworthy of my father’s love. So anytime someone—like this couple—ignores me and I feel invisible, the little girl inside me feels pain.

You may have people that trigger the young vulnerable parts of you, leading you to feel unloved, unworthy, and invisible.

This little girl that is frozen in time in my psyche felt worthless and not enough.

Antidepressants and therapy took the edge off of my depression and anxiety, but they didn’t heal the source of the hurt.

The young parts of you that hold negative emotions of shame, guilt, rejection, abandonment, and unworthiness need the love and reassurance from you that they never got when they first experienced negative events.

 The little girl now understands what happened and she’s able to believe that she is worthy, enough, and lovable because I told her she was. She is no longer frozen in time and has come into the present with me where she resides in my heart.

 Who pushes your buttons? What is the gift they are giving you to help you identify your most painful wounds?

 This re-parenting technique that resulted in unconditionally loving myself has positively and permanently shifted my happiness set point and boosted my self-esteem and confidence.

 Healing myself through this technique has allowed me to create a new narrative for my life story. I now believe the Universe purposely gave me negative experiences for the evolution of my soul.

 You too can figure out your life’s mission by healing your emotional scars first. Then you can figure out the new narrative that helps you make lemonade out of your lemons. As a result, you can live fully with joy and purpose before you die. 


When you heal the emotional scars that keep you unhappy, you can significantly improve your happiness set point and positively change the course of your life.


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The Secret to Getting Along With Your Parents...

“My experience is that the teachers we need most are the people we’re living with right now.” ~Byron Katie

Nothing hurts like being misunderstood, and there is no place that this feeling runs rampant quite like it does with family.

 I used to think that people who had good relationships with their parents had perfect parents.


 People who get along with their parents have just as many family conflicts as anyone else. They just choose to accept those conflicts as part of life, and love their kin anyway.

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Finding Yourself Instead of Trying to Change Someone Else...

“If you can’t change the circumstances, change your perspective.” ~Unknown


I found myself dating someone addicted to drugs. I thought if he could just hang around someone sober, see how I found joy without being altered by substances, and to bask in my love, then he could stay sober.


 
In the midst of it, I did not see the control I wanted to have of him.

Pain is a Mirror Image

The pain I felt was a mirror to his pain. He felt shame and judged himself harshly for using, and I felt shame and judged myself harshly for not being where I thought I should be in my career and for the way I looked as I packed on the pounds of responsibility he never asked me to take.

Accept the Other, Accept Yourself

After the realization that I could be at peace by accepting who he was and his choices, I could finally accept my responsibility for our relationship and for bringing him into my life. I decided to love him for the being he was, and most importantly, to love myself.

 My relief was astounding. I started meditating daily and allowed myself to listen to my truth. I let go of the weight of trying to be his savior, and that translated into inches off of my body. It was like dense matter had seamlessly transformed into light.

 When I began to love myself, I empowered myself to make my preference choices. Since I knew I couldn’t change him, I figured out that it was my preference to no longer be around that environment. So I decided to leave it.

 I understood that his drug use was to obtain relief and to be soothed from his troubles, which is what we all try to do in different forms when we experience that contrast from where we are and where we want to be.

Getting to That Better Feeling Place

 

1. Realize that the only person you can change is yourself.

You can be a guide and an example, but ultimately change comes from within.

2. Accept the situation didn’t “just happen to you.”

When you accept responsibility for your part, thoughts, and reactions, you will be empowered to transform.

3. Accept the person for who they are and where they are.

You will be in the present moment and not putting blame for what happened yesterday and creating stories of what could happen in the future.

4. Pick one thing you love about yourself, and be in love with it.

Just start with one thing, whether it’s your generosity or your big toe. The more you love that, the more your love for yourself will expand

5. Connect with the feeling of relief.

Realize that underneath it all, the person is just trying to feel better, even though it might not be in a way of which you approve or you think is harmful.

6. Write down your dreams and preferences.

Focus on your inner world and what thoughts bring you to a place of joy. Decide how you choose to live.

7. Be consistent.

And after you make this a consistent practice, the situation must change—either the person will start moving to where you are or you will exit each other’s lives.


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Finding Our Inner Child and Having More Fun in Life...

 

“A healthy attitude is contagious but don’t wait to catch it from others. Be a carrier.”

 ~Tom Stoppard

just the other day, I was at my daughter’s school to watch her participate in a spelling bee. As the kids came into the room, I took notice of their manner and their faces.



They looked excited, frightened, and some, decidedly uninterested. The teacher led them over to their area and promptly told them to sit on the floor, in two straight lines, and no talking please. They complied.
Some kids pushed at the others to “move over!” Some held their fingers to their lips, loudly shhhhhshing the others. Some opened their notebooks and began to draw or write. Some spoke quietly to the friend next door.
I smiled as I watched them; some caught my grin and smiled back. I wondered if adults would have fulfilled the teacher’s request so quickly and with relatively little complaint.


I pondered how many adults, after being told to sit on the floor, would have protested “I don’t want to sit on the floor,” or “the floor, are you kidding?!”


How many would have continued talking, ignoring anyone imploring them to quiet down? How many of them would have busied themselves instead of complaining, “This floor is hard, how long is this going to take anyway?!”

Where did our little kids go, I wondered? Where did that elated, excited, play the game because it’s fun, run in the rain, catch the drops on my tongue, ask all the questions I need to, hug my best friend and tell them I’m sad person go? Can it be I’ve grown up too much? Have all of us?
What would happen if the next time we do something well, we run around in circles and scream? What would happen if the next time we don’t understand something, we raise our hand, shake it mightily, and ask a question?


If the next time we’re sad, we grab a friend and sob into her shoulders? If the next time we sit next to someone we don’t know, we ask them what their favorite color is? What would happen if we danced any way we wanted?
So what am I going to do the next time? I hope I’ll be able to find the inner child I raised into an adult and give her a voice, an arm to wave, and a song to dance to.
But for now, I’m going to sit on the floor and color.




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Why Self-Pity is Harmful and How to Let It Go....

“Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have—life itself.” 

~Walter Anderson


Some of us experience more adversity and painful events in our lives than others. We wonder why our difficulties don’t happen to the “bad” people out there instead of us. Unfortunately, life is not fair.

My Own Pity Party 

 

I was a hapless victim of love, and I played my part like Shakespeare had written it for me. I gave in completely to self-pity. I cried in public for the poor cashier at the grocery store. I wore my swollen eyes like a badge of honor.

 

Self-Pity is a Choice

 

When we fall into the depression of self-pity, we allow it to take control of our lives. We become completely self-absorbed. It is destructive to dwell on negative events and carry that bitterness and resentment forward. When we keep our focus on the hurt, we aren’t focused on taking control of our lives.

 

 

if we blame negative circumstances for our place in life, we are giving up responsibility and control.

Self-pity is a form of selfishness. It makes us less aware of the needs and suffering of others. Our own suffering is all we think or care about in our self-absorbed state.

very touching story

The Story of Tony Melendez

 
Tony Melendez was born with no arms and a clubfoot. Despite his misfortune, Tony chose to control his own life and happiness. He improved his circumstances as far as he could control them. He made positive choices and took responsibility for his own future.

 

 As stated in the biography page of his website, Tony is “a man who has spent his life putting personal confidence above his handicap.” How? By learning to play the guitar with his toes

He began his career in Los Angeles. Tony is a musician and voc
a list with several successful albums. He is also a composer, motivational speaker, and writer.

In 1987 Tony played for Pope John Paul II in Los Angeles. The Holy Father was so moved that he approached Tony on the stage and commissioned him “to give hope to all the people.”



Tony took the pope’s words to heart. Tony Melendez Ministries is a non-profit organization that helps people throughout the world, bringing them hope, compassion, scholarships, and other funding.



Tony Melendez and the Toe Jam Band have a busy tour schedule. There is no room for self-pity in Tony’s busy life because he does not focus on himself. He unselfishly gives to others he feels are less fortunate.
But don’t expect Tony to play at your pity party. He will give you an example to overcome self-pity and inspire you to achieve a wonderful life

You can choose to lift yourself up and enjoy life! You are in charge of your own happiness. It is your personal responsibility.

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How to Strengthen Relationships by Releasing Fear and Control...

“To cure jealousy is to see it for what it is: a dissatisfaction with self.” 

~Joan Didion

When I was a young man I had an issue with relationships. Looking back now, it is easy to see that I had low self-esteem, though I could not see it at the time. Because of my low self-image and my neediness, many relationships that could have had a decent chance went by the way side.

 

 

I developed a low-level anxiety about how much any girlfriend cared for me, which, in turn, became outright jealousy and resulted in controlling behavior.

I would worry that my girlfriend was going to leave me for another man and would then become aggressive, starting arguments. I would act out when she wanted to go out with her friends. If we went out together,

Of course, all of this behavior was about demanding, without explicitly saying it, that she demonstrated how much she loved me. This was because, despite all the evidence to the contrary, I believed she did not
 
 Ironically, the more she showed me she loved me, the less I believed her.

My Fear
I tried to control the fear that I was unlovable by controlling the person I loved. I even took to confronting men who I saw as a threat to us as couple.


I realized that I could not control my girlfriends and that trying to control them had the opposite effect.


Lastly, I realized that I needed to learn to love myself and stop expecting others to do something I wasn’t doing for myself.


We can choose to live in fear or not—that’s something we can control. And we can also control if we choose to be miserable or happy. I chose happy.

http://tinybuddha.com/author/julian-hall/
 

 

Letting Go of Yesterday and Using the Gift of the Present - By Aqilah Norazman ....

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.” ~Alice Morse Earle

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.” ~Alice Morse Earle


Did you make a mistake yesterday? Or did something bad happen to you a few weeks ago? Are you still dwelling on it, doing all you can to move on? Then this post is for you.
Why? Because I want you to know that you’re not alone.

just like you, my past wasn’t all rainbows and unicorns. No one in this world has a past that is sparkling clean and error-free. We’ve all made mistakes. That’s life. And that’s what makes us human.

 The clock ticks forward, and soon enough the mistake that you made a second ago is history. It might take days, months, or years to learn and address the consequences of the mistake, but every day forward is an opportunity to make things right.


The clock ticks forward, and soon enough the mistake that you made a second ago is history. It might take days, months, or years to learn and address the consequences of the mistake, but every day forward is an opportunity to make things right.



Worrying about it does not get you anywhere. Thinking about how to learn from the experience and make things better is a good start. But actually doing things to learn from the mistake is the fundamental part of really moving forward.


If you’re having a hard time letting go of yesterday and seizing today, remember:

Yesterday is History

Yesterday is history. It’s done. Record it into your history book and close it.

Tomorrow is a Mystery

Tomorrow is a mystery. It hasn’t happened yet, so don’t sweat the small things. Be kind to yourself; it has the power to make you happy

 

Today is a Gift

Today is a certain opportunity. You can use it to decide where you want to go in life. If you don’t love what you’re doing, use this opportunity to change something.


http://tinybuddha.com/author/aqilah-norazman/

 

FIRE OF HOLY SPIRIT...

 

“Those in whom the Spirit comes to live are God's new Temple. They are, individually and corporately, places where heaven and earth meet.”

― N.T. Wright, Simply Christian: Why Christianity Makes Sense

Iran didn’t know their largest airport had a Star of David on its roof until Google Earth took a satellite picture of it!

Israel must have been reeling under hysterical laughter when the Star of David was emblazoned on one of Iran’s major landmarks – without their knowledge. After it was discovered on the roof of the Tehran Airport, Iranian officials are said to have been seething with rage. But it was the manner in which it was discovered that’s even, well, dumb: through a satellite image taken by Google Earth.

They who abhor the idea of Western things couldn’t even entrust their own who fly by day-in-day-out to spot the Zionist symbol. National leaders are said to have called for the immediate removal of the Star of David following its discovery on the main building of Iran Air.
The two countries embroiled in the act that was exposed in 2010 severed ties over thirty years ago, with reports by Arabic news outlet Al Arabiya noting that the building with the symbol was constructed in 1979 by none other than Israeli engineers.
The Israeli engineers were hired by the Iranian government that also scheduled flights between the two countries who don’t see eye-to-eye.

Diseases from dirty water kill more people than war each year.

Let it come as no surprise that an entire third of the population in the world does not have adequate access to safe drinking water and sanitation to meet their basic needs.

 world’s population stands a high risk of transmitting diseases such as cholera, arsenicosis, malaria, fluorosis and a host of other fatal illnesses. It may sound mind-boggling that a whopping 3 million people die prematurely every year as a result of water-borne diseases.
The cases are more prevalent in developing countries, with Southern Asia holding the record for most people who do not use improved sanitation facilities, which coupled with unclean water, are the second largest cause of death in children. Looking at this death toll, it would be suffice to say that no form of violence outstrips it, including war.

‘Man-boobs’ can be caused by a hormone imbalance between testosterone and estrogen....

If you are one of those men with large mammary glands, aka man boobs, chances are you could be suffering from a condition known as gynecomastia (remember the name). This is a condition characterized by the development of large mammary glands that lead to breast enlargement in men.

It may not be from easting too much junk, no. Rather, it can come naturally from infanthood when the boy child receives a dose of female hormones from their mother, in other cases, any time from adolescence onwards. Gynecomastia normally occurs when the levels of testosterone drop, but estrogen levels remain the same. This could be as a result of the body not receiving proper nutrition, or when it ages and so on. Just like their opposite numbers’, male breasts can also be asymmetrical.
When these man boobs cause extreme distress, breast reduction surgery is recommended. However, in cases where this condition is caused by poor nutrition (read junk food), testosterone levels can be brought up to normal levels by, you guessed it, improving one’s diet. Guys, cut the junk.

Living an Exciting Life When You Fear Leaving Your Comfort Zone..

“One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching.” ~Unknown

 What if you realized on evening of December 31^st, that the past 365 days were the best yet? Imagine a single year in which you scare yourself into your deepest fears and face more challenges than you ever had from all the previous years combined?

Moving forward, how would you feel about one-upping that year? Overwhelmed? Anxious? Scattered? Yeah, me too.
This was the question that I asked myself on the last evening of 2013 that left me thinking back on distant memories, adventures, and the beginning of true uncertainty.
The Best Year Yet: 2013.

 I moved from confusion to clarity. What I believed to be important in my life no longer mattered.


 I leaned into what I thought was once impossible due to the laundry list of excuses I had created. Not enough money. No one will go with me. It’s not safe. This isn’t the right time.

 Those were only four of the hundreds of thoughts that swirled through my monkey brain, which was doing its best to protect me, right?

 Some the hard way, others rather easy, but all well worth it.

You’ll never have everything figured out.

Imagine for just a moment that you stopped allowing your excuses to own you. There’s a part of you that wants to embrace change, yet every time you think about going after your vision, you’re dumbfounded with objections.

Unfortunately, the only time that you won’t have an excuse will be when you’re six feet under. The fear that resides within each of us will always create a story; yet, we are the ones with the power to make the decision. Ready. Fire. Aim.

 

It only takes one second to be courageous.

 

Think about how long it actually takes to do anything you’ve ever wanted to do? It takes one second to make the decision.
One second to click the submit button. One second to say hello. One second to smile. One second to jump in. One second to leave no chance for regrets. One second to hand over your two week notice. One second to say, “this isn’t working.” One second to believe. One second to choose. One second to play full out. It only takes one second to be courageous.

Befriend uncertainty.

 

Whether you’re ready for it or not, the unpredictable will show its face. While we have a tendency to negatively associate with the unknown, realize that you can make the empowered decision to accept the reality.

Byron Katie says this best, “When I argue with reality, I lose—but only 100 percent of the time.” Try bringing uncertainty along for the ride. You may notice a greater sense of meaning and fulfillment finding its way into your life.

If it makes you feel safely uncomfortable, please proceed.

 

If you find yourself in a situation that makes you feel safely anxious, awkward, nervous, and/or uneasy, it very well may be the best thing for you. As Tony Robbins says, “The quality of our lives is directly related to the amount of uncertainty we can live with comfortably.”

 Remember, though, these uncomfortable experiences must also align with your preferences and values. When in doubt, intuitively listen to your soul.


 As you continue to slowly build your uncomfortable muscles, you’ll gain more clarity around what feels right. Each adventure will not only contribute to rapid personal growth, but will also increase your threshold for dealing with such unsettling feelings.

Replace “What will they think of me?”with“What’s really important to me?”

 

Say hello to your ego. And now, please ask him/her to keep quiet. When we find ourselves in moments where we might be exposed to internal feelings of nervousness, embarrassment, or anxiousness, we usually tend to run the other way.


 Give yourself permission to live uncomfortably. I dare you.


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Titanic Story....(Animation)

Joke of the Day!

No good fish goes anywhere without a porpoise.

Lewis Carroll

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/fish.html#MCTqdsJ1mWW8eKYb.99

No good fish goes anywhere without a porpoise.

Lewis Carroll

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/fish.html#MCTqdsJ1mWW8eKYb.99

No good fish goes anywhere without a porpoise.

Lewis Carroll

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/fish.html#MCTqdsJ1mWW8eKYb.99

No good fish goes anywhere without a porpoise.

Lewis Carroll

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/fish.html#MCTqdsJ1mWW8eKYb.99

rain! rain! rain!

“Crying in the rain. No one sees your tears and your pain gets washed away.”

― Elizabeth Bourgeret

How to Redefine Yourself by Letting Go of the Past

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” 

~Maya Angelou

 I had buttressed myself with stability and material comforts not because they were the things I truly wanted, but because they were the things that I could hold as evidence that I had survived my tumultuous past and developed into a responsible adult.

  In a culture where addiction and mental illness are stigmatized, I couldn’t bear the fact that those two illnesses, in some ways, shaped the framework through which I viewed the world.

Shame is insidious. It disguises itself as a desire to be a better person, a commitment to moving on. Meanwhile, it burrows deep into your soul and makes a home there until the day that you break open and expose it to the light.

It was heart-wrenching to uncover the truth. I had labeled myself a survivor because I was unwilling to acknowledge the pain that I carried within me. I defined myself by my experiences, and so created a life where every action was driven by my past.

 I had to let go of the lies I told myself in order to become my most authentic self.

 All of my past experiences have certainly contributed to my perception of life, but I know now that those experiences do not have to shape my present.

 I can acknowledge the pain of past experiences while still choosing to experience the present from a place of joy. That choice was made simple by taking just one step: I let go of the labels I had given myself.

 I no longer make decisions out of fear. Rather than analyze every situation through a framework created by years of dysfunctional relationships, I trust my instincts. I take care to notice the stories I tell myself and I consciously choose whether or not to believe them.

 Take a moment to listen to your own narrative. How do you define yourself? Write down a short description of who you are and where you come from. Then, take an honest look at your narrative and decide if that is the person you want to be.

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